My horse lost today. Or maybe yesterday, I don’t know.
Having just published my first book – the rather literally named but compellingly written, ‘Winners of the Melbourne Cup’ – to widespread fanfare and rave reviews, I have eagerly accepted the challenge from my publisher Red Dog Books to put my money where my highly articulate mouth is, and try to tip a few winners for the spring carnival (‘try’, obviously being the operative word, given my apparent inability to get arrested in the betting-ring this year).
Indeed, you begin to lose track of the also-rans after a while, eventually succumbing to the endless and all-powerful stream of ‘next-start’ nags that constitutes the absurd attraction of life on the punt. Like Camus’ unfussed anti-hero Meursault, the ‘Michael Douglas in The Game’-style conspiracy that is the sport of horseracing has taught me to calmly accept many of the cruel realities of life (though I must confess that hearing Miss Badoura confidently declared the winner of the last on Cox Plate day - only to be informed that her deliciously day-saving dividend of $19.20 had been halved to $9.60 as the result of a dead-heat – proved to be a fairly rigorous interrogation of my commitment to the blissful detachment of existentialist indifference). But, still, a win’s a win just the same (even if it was as hollow as a Carlton pre-season premiership), and it is at least with some money in my pocket that I cast my eye to the upcoming week at glorious Flemington and offer my early musings.
All Melbourne Cup talk is centred around the annually touted international raiders, and for a refreshing change, it appears that this year the hype is entirely justified. Apparently this Septimus individual is in fact part horse part Bugatti Veyron 16.4, and is by all reports more a of a sure thing in a test of stamina than another well-known black-maned Irish stallion, Colin “I understood that tape as being strictly private and confidential” Farrell. Something about Septimus worries me, however. Perhaps it’s the fact that he only won the Irish St Leger by 13 lengths: surely that form isn’t good enough for our famous handicap. Or that back in Britain, Caulfield Cup winner All The Good apparently isn’t even allowed to drink of the same trough, eat of the same oat, or so much as cast a casual glance in the mighty Septimus’ direction – let alone run in the same class of races. Simply, Septimus appears too good to be true, and I’m willing to look elsewhere (please remember these prophetic words when he makes a mess of them at the furlong and goes on to win eased-down by five lengths under a stranglehold from Johnny Murtagh).
The Lovely Francesca’s horse Bauer must also be considered a live chance after his gutsy win at Geelong, whilst stable-mate Mad Rush ($6.50) is for mine the pick of the marauders at this early juncture, having been “Get me my black-book, red pen and all defenceless younger family member’s piggy banks”-impressed by his slashing fourth in the Caulfield Cup. D. Oliver has stuck with the mount on Mad Rush in preference to Bauer, and after desperately close seconds in the last two years on Pop Rock and Purple Moon, I believe Ollie is right on track to claim his third Melbourne Cup.
As for the Derby on Saturday, the current $1.60 being offered about Whobegotyou does not appear to be the answer to the escalating financial crisis, and as such we shall be looking elsewhere for our salvation. The visiting Kiwi stayer My Scotsgrey put in a bottler in the Geelong Classic and at $14.00, might just be a blow-out chance. Similarly, although his run in the Vase was only fair, Carnero has struck me as a good Derby-type all spring, and I’ll be having a bit on him at the $18.00.
Finally, in order to build a bank for Derby Day, I would encourage my ‘tenter-hooked’ and undoubtedly widespread readership to have something on Queen of Queens at the current fixed odds price of $6.50 in Wednesday’s Werribee Cup. The more adventurous should also consider taking Mick Price’s mare in quinellas with Saddler’s Story, who looks over the odds at $18.00.
Final word:
WERRIBEE RACE 8 – QUEEN OF QUEENS
Yours unfaithfully,
The Outsider
PS. And remember, when in doubt, always back the top-weight.
PPS. I just remembered that the top-weight in the Cup is Septimus. Damn.
October 28th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Dear Tipster,
What are your thoughts on the invevitable victory in the Hong Kong Cup of under-glorified prize-pig Apache Cat? Also, Who do you like in the next at Menangle Trots?
October 29th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Jack,
Apache Cat should be very hard to beat in Hong Kong. Australian sprinters are typically super-competitive overseas, and he will follow in the footsteps of dual Hong Kong Sprint winner Falvelon with any luck.
In answer to your second question, I don’t bet on chariot racing, and am merely concerned with the sport of kings.
October 29th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Dear The Outsider,
will you be attending the Derby? If so, please provide details of the merry-making and any questionable sartorial choices for our amusement.
October 29th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
More like Bean of Queens! What an unpleasant little Beauty. Also, Jack, you sound badly handsome from the way you write… I also like apache cat. Also Emily, I do hope that when you write/say Derby, what you are really writing/saying is D’arrrrrrghby, a la Sea Captain…
October 30th, 2008 at 9:28 am
Outsider,
when may we expect another post, hmmm?
(Peter: I don’t know where I’d be without your guidance on how to pronounce basic English words. Thanks beauty.)
October 30th, 2008 at 10:06 am
Dear Outsider,
I have come to the conclusion that there are many things in this world that are uncertain in these hectic times. For that reason I have decided to go back to basics and cling wretchedly to the only remaining certainties, like a small dog to a well loved Dave. Certainties like Death, Taxes and Samantha Miss winning the Oaks. This is a downright surety and if, somehow that Irish tall hairy Pig gets up in the Cup, I intend to roll the lot/dice over to that little Sydney beauty…
Yours,
Peter
ps also, emily, we have never met, but whilst writing about random dog’s and men named Dave, I remembered that story you told me about Sneaky wrapping the phone cord around his neck and threatening to jump off the couch with a wild, unstable look on his mug/snout. It is the funniest and best thing I’ve ever heard…
October 30th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Dear Igan,
extraordinary, and yet you know so much of Daves and little dogs!
Shall we never meet?
ps can somebody give me the mail for Saturday?
I need to win $30,000.